PEOPLE |
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Al Sharpton Descended
From Slave Owned by Strom Thurmond's
Relatives
Discovery made by Thurmond's grandson,
who is Sharpton's chauffeur. |
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Cheney Almost Hit By Bomb in
Afghanistan
Calls it positive sign. |
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ENTERTAINMENT |
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TV Programming for Children
Under 2 Growing
Most of it ends up in prime time. |
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BUSINESS |
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New Insider Trading Scandal
Centers on Hedge Funds
Extremely wealthy investors allegedly
conspired to become unfuckingbelievably
wealthy investors. |
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Bird Housing
Market Collapses
Experts blame
overbuilding. |
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HEALTH / MEDICINE |
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Report: Vitamin Supplements
May Actually Shorten Life
Public urged to scratch their heads. |
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Britain to Pay Women Who
Donate Eggs
On sliding scale for large, extra-large,
jumbo. |
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REMINDER |
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In a
few years, robots will
take over. |
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SCIENCE |
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Mysterious 2400-Year-Old
13 Towers in Peru Found to
Be Solar Calendar
According to replicas sold in nearby gift
shop. |
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POLITICS |
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Edwards's
Virtual Campaign Headquarters
Trashed
Candidate's avatar said to be
shaken. |
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