BUSINESS |
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Al Gore Introduces
Global Warming Beach Ball
Provides constant reminder, while frolicking
in the surf, of our imminent demise. |
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MISCELLANEOUS |
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Condoleezza Rice May Be Most
Skilled Secretary of State Ever
On the piano (though critics say John
Foster Dulles played with more feeling). |
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SPORTS |
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To Stop Riots, Italy Bans
Spectators at Soccer Games
Fans can view action at special
stadiums set up to show live broadcast. |
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NEW PRODUCTS |
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GPS Shoe
Keeps Track of Wearer
Anywhere on Earth
When in trouble, click
heels together three
times and help arrives. |
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FEATURE |
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A Saudi Arabian
court sentenced 20
foreigners to jail time,
lashings for: |
A ) | terrorist activity. |
B ) | abusing their domestic
servants. |
C ) | attending a party where
men and women danced,
alcohol was consumed. |
Hint: Men and women
dancing together!? |
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EDUCATION |
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Summers Succeeded at
Harvard by Woman
He says university wanted someone
who isn't as good with numbers. |
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Princeton Closes Controversial
ESP Lab
As predicted. |
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Harvard Announces New
Curriculum After Critique
From Conservatives
Will revert to core religious studies as
originally designed in 1636. |
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