| HISTORY |
 |
 520 Years
Ago, Spanish Inquisition
Briefly Halted
Grand Inquisitor Tomás
de Torquemada (shown)
seeks “clarity”
regarding rules for
interrogating prisoners. |
|
| |
| WAR ON TERROR |
| |
Profiles
from the Department of
Homeland Security's Potential
Terrorist Target List |
| |
 |
| |
Potential Target: |
|
Mule Day Parade |
|
| |
Location: |
|
Columbia, Tennessee |
|
| |
Crucial Function: |
|
Celebrates Mules |
|
| |
Years Without Terrorist Attack: |
|
166 |
|
| |
Primary Target: |
|
Best of Breed
Competition |
|
| |
Secondary Target: |
|
Mule Pulling Event |
|
| |
Slogan: |
|
A Voice From the Barnyard |
|
| |
Fun Fact: |
|
Video of Mule Day is
available! (Don't tell potential terrorists.) |
|
| |
Next week's
profile: |
|
Old MacDonald's Petting Zoo,
Woodville, Alabama |
|
|
|
|
| FEATURE |
 |
| Anybody who
doesn't get what the
war in Iraq has to do
with protecting our
nation from terrorism: |
| A ) | wants
to encourage the
terrorists. |
| B ) | favors
appeasement of terrorism. |
| C ) | hates
freedom. |
| D ) | all
of the above |
| Hint: if you
didn't answer “all of the
above” you will be
subject to our warrantless spying
program. |
|
| General Casey
recently predicted that
the Iraqi forces will be
ready to take over from
the United States in 12
to 18 months because: |
| A ) | He
can see from the Green
Zone how well they are
doing. |
| B ) | Everybody
in the country will be
dead by then. |
| C ) | Nobody
will remember what he
said 12 to 18 months from
now. |
| Hint: Anybody
remember even who the
Commander of U.S. Forces
was 12 to 18 months ago? |
|
|
|
| |
| SPORTS |
|
Reporters Who Broke BALCO
Story Face Jail Time
Bonds hits 733rd home run, putting him
only 22 behind Hank Aaron. |
|
