Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – FEB 27 - MAR 5, 2006
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PEOPLE
Lawrence Summers Resigns As President of Harvard
Takes similar position at Hooters.
Donald Trump, Martha
Stewart in Feud

Unfortunately, somebody has to win.
 
BUSINESS
Study: We're Working Harder, With
Not as Much Accomplished

And then it's “Miller time.”
Bush Says U.S. on Verge of
Technology Breakthroughs
That Will “Startle” Public

Perpetual motion machine just one of many promising ideas.
7 to 10% of All Products Sold
Worldwide Are Fakes

Those artificial flowers you bought recently might be real.
 
CONSUMER ALERT
Toy Versions of First Atomic Bombs Recalled
Scale replicas of bombs dropped on Hiroshima, Nagasaki leak radiation exceeding allowable limits.
SCIENCE
San Francisco to Convert Dog Poop Into Natural Gas
Will produce enough energy to power novelty factory that makes fake dog poop.
NASA: Mysterious Explosion Detected in Nearby Galaxy
Scientists "would rather not know" what caused it.
Quantum Physicists Successfully Teleport Atomic Particles
Phenomenal achievement could eventually lead to speedier pizza delivery.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
New Study: Low-Salt Diet, Like
Low-Fat Diet, Has No Proven
Health Benefit

Did somebody say McDonald's?
 
TRENDS
  Nearly 43% of All Résumés
Contain Falsehoods

Finding announced by Dr. George Spelvin, Ph.D., Rhodes Scholar, Pulitzer Prize winner, Nobel laureate and first man to walk on the Moon.
 
ANSWER TO LAST WEEK'S PUZZLER
 
C) civil war.
However, partial credit is also given for: A) learning experience, D) unintended consequence, E) bump in the road, and G) mission accomplished!

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