| PEOPLE |
 |
More Trouble for
Michael Jackson
Disgruntled former employee selling
parts of entertainer's face (right)
on eBay. |
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| SCIENCE |
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Evidence Discovered That
Humans Lived In England 700,000 Years Ago
Cave painting shows tribal chieftain
falling off mammoth, making offensive
remarks. |
|
Fingerprint Scanner Fooled
By Play-Doh
Reveals potential for three-year-old to
fool biometric device, pass through
security, hijack plane. |
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| CORRECTION |
| |
| In our recent holiday
message to our readers we mistakenly
wished them “a happy holiday with
peace on earth and good will towards
men.” The message ought to have
been, “Merry Christmas, and joyous
celebration of the birth of the Son of
God, with high hopes that Jews, Moslems,
Buddhists, Hindus and other infidels will
turn away from their false gods to find
life everlasting by accepting Jesus
Christ as their Personal Savior.” We
regret any confusion caused by our error. |
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| FEATURE |
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| Despite
polling which shows
two-thirds of Iraqis want
us to leave and a solid
majority of Americans
believe the war was a
mistake, the President
intentionally misled
them, has no exit
strategy and no plan for
victory, and that we
should begin withdrawing
our troops, Democratic
politicians are still
waiting for which sign
that it's safe to
advocate bringing our
troops back home? |
| A ) | An
armed revolution on the
streets of all major U.S.
cities. |
| B ) | The
arrest and trial of top
Administration officials
by the International
Criminal Court. |
| C ) | A
coordinated attack on our
troops by the insurgents and the
Iraqi Security Forces. |
| D ) | An
armada of UFOs from Mars
simultaneously blasting
the message, "GET
OUT!" from
loudspeakers. |
| Hint: Most Democrats
are big fans of "Star Trek." |
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| MISCELLANEOUS |
|
Chicago
Bar Offering $950 Cocktail
And another for your new
friend Carmen Electra
(right) brings tab to
nearly two grand. |
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