| ENTERTAINMENT |
 |
 TV:
Tool-Using Gorilla Gets
Own Show
“Extreme Treehouse
Makeover” slated as
mid-season replacement on
Animal Planet. |
|
|
Senate Panel Sets Date of
April 7, 2009 for Switch From
Analog to Digital Broadcasting
From that day forward all the vapid,
insipid, mind-rotting shows you normally
watch will only be available on specially
equipped sets. |
|
Sitcom Based on Kutcher-Moore
Marriage in Production
May-December relationship provides
inspiration for “Cradle-Robbing
Hussies,” from producers Michael
Douglas and Warren Beatty. |
| |
| BUSINESS |
|
AOL Will Lay Off 700
Operators who explain the problem is with
your browser to be replaced by recording. |
|
“Nothing” Goes
On Sale
Aimed at “the
anti-materialist who has
everything.”
|
|
 |
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| SCIENCE |
|
Scientists Identify Empathy
Gene in Mice
Could lead to humans becoming more
empathetic towards mice. |
|
Ramen Noodles From 4,000
Years Ago Discovered in China
They were “still good.” |
| |
 Mars Rover Stuck
Behind Huge Boulder
NASA scientists will
study picture carefully
in attempt to determine
who or what took picture. |
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| |
| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
|
Study: 1.7 Million Children in Homes
Where Loaded, Unlocked Gun Kept
Most have been told not to take gun to school,
fire on teachers, classmates. |
|
Report: Fetuses Soak in Bath of Mercury,
Gasoline Byproducts, Teflon, Pesticides
No child left behind. |
| |
| THIS WEEK'S PUZZLER |
| |
How
would Jesus vote on repeal
of the estate tax? |
|
