Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – SEPTEMBER 12 - 18, 2005
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PEOPLE
Barbara Bush Makes Another Comment About Hurricane
Wonders if warm winter coat couldn't be made from abandoned puppies.
ENTERTAINMENT
Bob Dylan Revises Lyrics to
“I'll Be Your Baby Tonight”

New verse: “Kick your shoes off, do not fear, bring that decaf latte over here.”
 
MEDIA
New Trouble for DeLay, Rove Obscured by Hurricane Coverage
Stories go unreported, whatever they were.
 
ADVERTISING
Trend Towards Using Heavier “Real People” In Ads Putting Supermodels Out of Work
“Many will starve,” warns Heidi Klum.
SCIENCE
Research: Human Brain Still Evolving
Could pose problem for GOP in next election.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Danish Study: Higher Level of Stress, Lower Risk of Breast Cancer
Husbands can play key role in keeping wives healthy.
Study: Alcohol Does Not Aid in Production of Breast Milk
But can liven up that noontime feeding.
 
Energy-Producing Backpack Simultaneously Runs MP3 Player, PDA, GPS, Phone, Fax
Power generated by manic multitasking.
Solar-Powered Video Headstone Promises Eternal Highlights of Your Loved One's Life
Interspersed with “tasteful” commercials, previews of upcoming burials.

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