Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – JUNE 20 - 26, 2005
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PEOPLE
Paris Hilton Tells Newsweek She's “Giving Up” Public Life
Invites everyone to join her in her private life.
Sen. Lugar Meets With UN Goodwill Ambassador Angelina Jolie
Afterwards says he's changing vote to “no” on Bolton nomination.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
Runaway Bride Signs $500,000 Movie Deal
Project already in turnaround.
Disney Digitally Reduced Size of Lindsay Lohan's Breasts in Latest Film
After test audiences responded too positively.
 
BUSINESS
MasterCard Says Security Breach
Exposed 40 Million to Fraud

Exhausted identity thieves say they're struggling to keep up with the work load.
SCIENCE
Australian Study: Sperm Motility
Differs After Viewing Different
Kinds of Porn

Researchers developed idea for study after drinking different kinds of Australian beer.
Continued Uncertainties in Science Make Public Policy Difficult
Conflicting evidence on links between greenhouse gasses and global warming, smoking and cancer, Darwinian evolution, puzzles White House.
 
Chimp Study Reveals Girls Watch and Learn While Boys Goof Off And Play
Female researchers got “no help whatsoever” from their male counterparts on project.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Survey: Most Men Get Health
Information From Their Wives

And yet, curiously, women outlive their husbands by many years.
Study: People Who Drink Diet
Sodas Gain Weight

Possible connection to typical meal of double cheeseburger, fries, sundae washed down by diet soda.

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