| NATURE |
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Ivory-Billed
Woodpecker, Thought
Extinct, Spotted in
Arkansas
Shown: two specimens
before being shot by Dick
Cheney and Antonin
Scalia. |
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| RELIGION |
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Survey: Two-Thirds of Americans Think
They Are Going to Heaven
And are certain their neighbors will end up in Hell. |
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| SPORTS |
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NCAA Adds 12th Game to
College Football Schedule
In case of conflict with exams, athletes
will have someone else take test for
them. |
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| CORRECTION |
| |
| A recent
report on a speech given by federal
appellate court nominee Janice Rogers
Brown indicated the judge had complained
that a tiny, powerless group who do not
share the religious convictions of the
vast majority of Americans were victims
of threats and harassment by the vastly
more powerful majority. In fact, Justice
Rogers Brown complained that the vast, powerful
majority of Americans were victims of the
tiny, powerless minority who do not share
their faith. We apologize for the
confusion. |
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| SPECIAL FEATURE |
When Gas Prices Become
Prohibitive: Other Things to Do With Your SUV |
| 1. | Tree
planter: use that sunroof to allow for
as much growth as your tree requires! |
| 2. | You've
already got the buggy – all you need is the horse! |
| 3. | Backyard
camper/sleeper: tons o' fun for kiddies of all ages! |
| 4. | Pied-a-terre
for discreet getaway with that special someone! Push
to location of choice. |
| 5. | Final resting
place for that car nut in your family who's just passed on.
Put body in driver's seat, roll into hole, cover with dirt. |
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| PEOPLE |
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Mag: Pitt,
Lopez Top Poll of
“Best Butts in
Hollywood”
Poll results for
“Biggest Assholes in
Hollywood” will be
published next week. |
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