Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – FEB 28 - MAR 6, 2005
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PEOPLE
Reporter “Jeff Gannon” of “Talon News” Returns to White House Beat
He's now James D. Guckert of Gay Male Escort News and has obtained proper credentials.
 
SPORTS
Baseball: Training Camps Open in Florida, Arizona
Fans show up to see their favorite stars inject themselves in the buttocks with powerful muscle-enhancing steroids.
NBA Trading Report: Troublemakers Swapped for Malcontents
And cash.
 
Conservative activists have targeted which dangerous organization for wanting to promote gay marriage, harm our soldiers and tear down our values?
A ) North American Man Boy Love Association
B ) Socialist Workers Party
C ) Al Qaeda
D ) AARP
THE WAR
Bush Gets Offers From All
26 NATO Members to Train
Iraqi Security Forces

Some step up with major pledges.
 
France: Will train military chefs in Paris.
Germany: Open invitation to Berlin Institute of Traffic Circle Design.
Italy: Scholarships for study of Early Renaissance Art in Florence.
Poland: Training for Green Zone Beautification Team.
Spain: Semester abroad at School of Flamenco Dance in Barcelona.
Sweden: Train Iraqis in the use of light and shadow in depressing films.
 
LAW
Supreme Court Rejects
Challenge to Alabama Law
Banning Sale of Sex Toys

“If you want a dildo, go to Idaho,” writes Justice Thomas for the majority.
 
CHESS
World Chess Rankings Released
Top five players unchanged from last time.
1. Deep Thought II
2. Deep Blue
3. Deep Thought I
4. Deep Blue Thought
5. Garry Kasparov (shown).

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