| MISCELLANEOUS |
 |
 “No
Santa Left Behind” A
Success, Say Backers
But program drains funds
from “No Child Left
Behind,” say
critics. |
|
| |
| SPORTS |
|
Major League Baseball to
Try Instant Replay
Move follows numerous requests to make
games longer. |
|
NBA: Players' Agents Decry
Current “Teamwork Fad”
Claim it's hard for their clients to
stand out when everyone's “obsessed
with winning.” |
| |
| FEATURE |
|
Answer to last week's Hidden Word
Puzzle |
| |
 |
|
 |
| Simplify Tax
Code:
Chauffeur-driven SUVs
will go directly into
poor neighborhoods,
transfer money to rich
without IRS involvement.
(IRS will continue to
exist to harass NAACP.) |
| Reform Social
Security:
Americans will be given
choice of investing
social security account
in stock market, or in
gambling chips redeemable
in Las Vegas or Atlantic
City. (But not Indian
reservations.) |
| Alaskan National
Wildlife Refuge:
Will be renamed,
“Alaskan National
Oil Drilling
Sanctuary.” |
| Elections in
Iraq: Whoever is
still alive after bombing
of areas resistant to
foreign occupation will
choose from candidates
acceptable to Dick
Cheney. |
|
|
|
| |
| LAW |
|
Supreme Court: Drunk Driving
Not a Deportable Offense
Bush “greatly relieved” by
decision. |
|
