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BUSH THE
WINNER
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How America Voted, and Why |
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Red:
Bush, because God told them to.
Blue: Kerry, because God told them to.
Light Red: Bush, inspired by message of
fear.
Light Blue: Kerry, inspired by message of
fear of Bush.
Orange: Bush, because Kerry would have
hired French homosexuals to turn
their children into deviants.
Green: Kerry, out of passionate dislike for
Ralph Nader.
Purple: Bush, because he's better able to
deliver hurricane relief money.
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 Superman
Votes for Bush
Man of Steel (shown) concerned with rogue
states “getting their hands on”
Iraq's kryptonite. |
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ALSO IN THE NEWS . . . |
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Bush Reinstates Draft
Announcement at victory party drowned
out by chants of “Four more years! Four
more years!” |
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| WORLD NEWS |
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Bush's Foreign Supporters
Celebrate
In Bangalore. |
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| U. S. NEWS |
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Bush Conciliatory After Election
Offers John Kerry post of Ambassador to France. |
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Day-After Poll Favors Kerry
Candidate would have won “handily”
had election been held today. |
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REMINDER
You might consider moving out
of the Alaska Wildlife Refuge. |
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Violent Crime in U.S. Down
3% Last Year
Violent crime by U.S. up 5000%. |
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Time Poll: Country Polarized
Half reads Time, half reads Newsweek. |
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| CORRECTION |
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| A U.S. map recently published showing
states with the highest per capita spending
on students in public schools in blue and
lowest per capita spending in red was
accidentally switched with an almost
identical election map with Kerry states in
blue and Bush states in red. We apologize
for the error. |
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