| MILESTONES |
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Mary Kay
Letourneau to Wed
Ex-Student, Lover
Woody Allen will be Best
Man. |
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| HIGH TECH |
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Paper-Thin Computer Screen Developed
Consumers will soon be able to purchase
"smart" Kleenex. |
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| John Kerry falsely
accused George Bush of never
having met with the Congressional
Black Caucus. In fact, Bush did
meet with them last February
after members of the Black Caucus: |
| A ) | were
escorted to the White House in a motorcade of
presidential limousines. |
| B ) | were flown to
the Crawford ranch on Air Force
One for a Bush family barbecue. |
| C ) | were
taken to Kennebunkport on the space shuttle
for a weekend of lobster and water sports. |
| D ) | showed up
uninvited at the White House
after repeated attempts to meet
with the president had been
rebuffed, were told he wasn't
there, but refused to leave until
he met with them. |
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| MAN IN
THE STREET |
| This week we asked a group
of undecided voters in Ohio the
following question: |
| Q: With the election only two weeks
away, which candidate are you more
likely to vote for? |
 Jack
Carvelle, Dayton: “I think
I'm somewhat more likely to vote for
the brilliant and statesmanlike Senator
Kerry, and somewhat less likely to vote
for the dimwitted cowboy Bush.” |
 Carol Hughley, Cincinnati: “I'm
leaning slightly toward the greatest
President this country's ever known,
and ever-so-slightly away from evil
left-wing flip-flopper Kerry.” |
 Fred Canaday, Cleveland: “At
this moment I'm inclined to vote for John
Kerry, a decorated veteran who's faced
hostile fire, and less inclined to vote for
that cowardly lying idiot Bush.” |
 Carl Rave, Columbus: “Honestly,
it's such a toss-up between the morally
superior Mr. Bush and the loathsome pond
scum Kerry, but I'll say Bush, since you
asked.” |
 Morey Michael, Akron: “I'm going to
flip a coin: heads for Kerry, tails for Bush.
Heads it is. There's your answer.” |
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