| ELECTION '04 |
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 Suspicious- Looking Bulge
Fuels Speculation Bush Was Fed
Instructions in First Debate
White House says President
was merely being reminded to scowl,
smirk and act like he didn't have a clue.
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| PEOPLE |
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Cher to Shoot
Nude Magazine Spread
Turns down million dollar
offer to keep her clothes
on. |
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| MEDIA |
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Fox News Blames
"Fatigue" For Posting Fake
Kerry Item on Web Site
Blames "narcolepsy" for rest of
coverage. |
| |
| TOYS |
|
 Barbie Beaten, Robbed
by Bratz Dolls
After driving
Corvette into bad neighborhood,
following directions supplied by Ken.
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|
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 Finally, a Shotgun No
Bigger Than a Credit
Card!
You know how it is:
you're on a crowded
elevator, some big jerk
steps on your toe, your
sore toe, and you just
want to pull out a
blunderbuss and blast the
bum to kingdom come, but
all you can do is
fantasize about it. Until
now. The ultra-portable
Sneaky Pete
Double-Barreled Shotgun
practically fits in your
wallet. Hell, I won't
leave home without it.
$99.95, at Concealed
Weapons For Less and
Assassins Surplus Outlet. |
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| SCIENCE |
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Administration Now Claims
Saddam Both Did and Did Not
Have Nukes Before War
Quantum physics explanation based on
Schrodinger's cat paradox. |
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Burps, Farts From Sheep, Cows
Account For 20% of World
Methane Emissions
Another 20% from burps, farts of
researchers studying problem. |
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| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
|
Study: Gambling Healthy for
Elderly
Seniors advised to bet their entire
Social Security check “on red or
black.” |
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