| POLITICS |
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Bush Twins at
Get-Out-the-Vote Bash
Promoting voter registration at bars, clubs. |
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Bill O'Reilly May Challenge
Hillary Clinton for Senate Seat
If he controls the mike at their debates. |
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Situation Improving in Iraq, Says Bush
Speaks before group of reservists returning there
for nineteenth tour of duty. |
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| EDUCATION |
|
U.S. #10 in Percentage of
Young Adults With High School Degree
But #1 in percentage of young adults with
phony college degrees. |
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| MISCELLANEOUS |
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 Restaurant Catering to
Cats Opens in New York
Restaurant featuring cats opens in Beijing. |
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|
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| President Bush
actually spent the 18 months
during which there are no records
of his reporting for duty with
the National Guard: |
| A ) | on a top
secret commando mission behind
enemy lines in Vietnam. |
| B ) | on a
hush-hush assignment for the
Strategic Air Command protecting
Earth from the Klingons. |
| C ) | drinking. |
|
| A "frivolous"
lawsuit is: |
| A ) | a giddy legal
action brought by an extremely silly person. |
| B ) | a scatterbrained brief filed
by a flighty lawyer wearing frilly clothes. |
| C ) | an impudent
attempt to hold a big corporation
accountable to those whose lives it has ruined. |
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| SPORTS |
|
Baseball: No Records Broken
In Nine-Inning Game
A record. |
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