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PRESIDENT
HONORS NATIONAL HUMANITIES MEDAL AWARD
WINNERS |
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Later, they are detained and held for
questioning. |
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WORLD NEWS |
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Saudis Agree to Some
Democratic Reforms
Will allow people to think bad thoughts
about Royal family. |
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Khatami Says Iran's Nuclear
Program Entirely Peaceful
Only used to power nuclear halvah
factories. |
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Japan Sending Troops to Iraq
Exact time of their arrival to be "a
surprise." |
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MISCELLANEOUS |
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Scandal Rocks
Miss Digital World
Contest
One contestant's
pixels may not be all
hers. |
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U. S. NEWS |
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Bush Ready to Transfer Power
in Iraq
To the Democrats. |
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GAO: Pentagon Sold Biological
Warfare Equipment on the Net
At 92% Discount
And no added sales tax. |
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McDonald's Protests Webster's
Definition of McJob As “Low
Paying, Dead-End”
“Couldn't be farther from the
truth,” says spokesperson. “You
want fries with that?” |
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REMINDER
Only man can make an
artificial tree. |
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Los Alamos Nuclear Weapons
Lab Loses Keys, 1300 Locks Replaced
“At least we have most of the
bombs,” says a spokesman. |
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ALSO IN THE NEWS . . . |
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Survey: 83% of American
Workers
Would Like a Different Job
Their boss's. |
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Ford Offers $150,000 Sports Car
Dashboard indicator shows depreciation by
the minute while car is stuck in traffic. |
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