| FOOD |
 |
 |
Heinz Unveils
Blue Ketchup
Company hopes consumers
will buy their unsold ketchup
that's turned blue. |
|
| |
| SPORTS |
 |
Baseball: Hall of Fame Cancels
Bull Durham Event Due to
Stars' Antiwar Sentiments
Also bans lyric "Root, root, root
for the home team" as aid and
comfort to the enemy. |
|
Darryl Strawberry Released
From Prison
Signs five-year, $50 million deal with
Yankees. |
| |
| ODDS AND ENDS |
|
World's
Biggest Shoe Goes on
Display in Philippines
But world's biggest sock
is missing. |
|
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|
|
| MISCELLANEOUS |
|
Las Vegas Oddsmakers Put
Doomsday at 50 Billion to 1
Bet a dollar, get back $50 billion, if
you’re lucky. |
|
Toy Sales:
Barbie Returns to #1
Popular doll outselling
all others among
middle-aged men. |
|
 |
|
| SPECIAL FEATURE |
| Five Simple
Steps to a Better Middle East |
| 1. |
U.S. invades Iraq,
overthrows regime. |
| 2. |
U.S. installs
democracy in Iraq. |
| 3. |
Democracy spreads to
neighboring lands. |
| 4. |
Unpopular, pro-American
leaders lose democratic elections
to popular clerics, who set
up hostile theocracies. |
| 5. |
U.S. invades neighboring lands,
overthrows regimes. |
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