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DEMOCRACY COMES TO
IRAQ
Town meeting in Tikrit
(right) shows Iraqis already
embracing our values. |
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| WORLD NEWS |
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Elite Squad Being Sent to Hunt
Down, Kill Hussein
Same elite squad sent to hunt
down, kill bin Laden. |
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Bush Warns Iraqis: Don't
Destroy Oil Fields
Or the nicer hotels in Baghdad. |
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OPEC Pledges to Protect
Oil Supplies, Prices
Will also offer free Prince Bandar
bobblehead dolls with every fill-up. |
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| PICTURE OF THE
WEEK |
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U.S. Image Overseas Takes a Beating
We're no longer seen as lovable clowns
dispensing hamburgers. |
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| ALSO IN THE NEWS ... |
|
U.S. Invades
Iran, Libya, Syria
Also Somalia, North Korea, Venezuela. |
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| U. S. NEWS |
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Poll: 98% Now Convinced
Saddam Behind 9/11 Attacks
Up from 1% several months ago. |
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FBI Begins “Knock and
Talk” Operations
Agents knock suspects on head with club
until they talk. |
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Missing Early Copy of
Bill of Rights Found
Discovered in dumpster behind
John Ashcroft's home. |
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REMINDER
Those who do not remember
the past are condemned to something or other. |
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Iraqi Diplomats Targeted in
Crackdown
Several given parking tickets in
Manhattan for the first time ever. |
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Consumer Confidence Hits
10-Year Low
But growth expected in
hunting-and-gathering sector. |
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| LAW |
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Free Speech Award Given to
Antonin Scalia, Who Bans Broadcast Media
from Covering Event
Apparently thought "free
speech" meant speech that didn't
cost anything. |
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