MISCELLANEOUS |
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Economists
Fear War Will Trigger
Rise in Oil Prices
U.S. motorists prepare to
cope with coming crisis. |
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SPORTS |
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Baseball: Shortage of Good
Pitchers
Also: hitters, fielders, owners, fans. |
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Fan Who Attacked Kansas City
Royals Coach Cites Bush
Doctrine
Claims preemptive strike necessary to
prevent coach from attacking fans. |
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Season Winds
Down
Teams, players prepare
for World Streaking
Championships. |
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Baseball to Expand by Two
Teams
One in Minnesota, the other in Montreal. |
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PICTURE OF THE
WEEK |
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Floating City
Proposed
Will eventually be home
to two members of every
species, says owner. |
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FACE-OFF: |
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KARL ROVE VS.
PAUL WOLFOWITZ |
(Karl Rove is
White House Senior Advisor; Paul
Wolfowitz is Deputy Secretary of
Defense.) |
Question: What should we
do about
Saddam Hussein? |
Rove: We should
invade Iraq and remove him from
power. Tomorrow, if possible. |
Wolfowitz:
You're crazy. We should
attack today, with all the
weapons at our disposal. |
Rove: Whoa! Why
pussyfoot about "weapons at
our disposal" we should
nuke the bastard! |
Wolfowitz: Back
to the Stone Age, you didn't
mention. |
Rove: And you
didn't mention installing a
government friendly to the United
States. |
Wolfowitz: What,
and not take control of their oil
fields? What have you been
smoking? |
(Ironic Times
will periodically allow people
with differing opinions to debate
an important issue.) |
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