| MILESTONES |
 |
 |
Jennifer Lopez, Husband
Decide to Split
Separation comes after nearly
25 minutes of marriage. |
|
| |
| SPORTS |
|
Baseball: Players Stage
Work Slowdown
Refuse to run out ground balls, pop-ups. |
|
Spitting, Scratching Up
30% in Both Leagues
Blamed on juicier chewing tobacco,
itchier jocks. |
|
Problem: Half of All Major
League Players Using Steroids
Solution: Share them with the
other half. |
| |
| TRAVEL |
|
Americans Advised to Leave India
Go to Israel. |
|
Insect Fast
Food Stands Open in
Thailand
Cricket McNuggets are the
most popular. |
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|
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UN Disbands
Cites boredom. |
War
on Drugs Won
Providing dictators with billions
of dollars works. |
Nader
Criticized for Cutting Pollution
Unpopular President faces
impeachment for ignoring public's
wish to breathe unhealthy air. |
First Man
Orbits Earth
If human survives re-entry and landing,
chimps may be next. |
Scholarly Debate Tops TV
Ratings Again
Beats out historical drama,
intellectual satire during sweeps
period. |
More
Whites Taking Up Golf
Parallels increasing economic
prosperity for Caucasians. |
Baseball
Owners: Profits
Better Than Ever
Players: We're happy for
them. |
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