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PAGE TWO - MARCH
25 - 31, 2002 |
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| GOVERNMENT |
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Cameras
Planned for D.C.
Monuments
Abraham Lincoln will be
watching you. |
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NEA Gets Budget Increase
Of $64 Billion
Missile Defense System re-classified
as performance art. |
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| BUSINESS |
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Toyota Camry Still the
Most-Stolen Vehicle
Thieves want reliability, not flash, with
good leg room and a decent-sized trunk. |
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NBC, Citing Public
Responsibility, Drops Hard Liquor Ads
Move follows drunken brawl in corporate
boardroom. |
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| MILESTONES |
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Alfred E.
Neuman Turns 50
Will celebrate
at his ranch in Crawford,
Texas. |
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| SCIENCE |
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Million-Year-Old Skull: Homo
Erectus Migrated from Africa to Asia,
then Back
Didn't care much for Asia, say
anthropologists. |
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Study: Chewing Gum
Makes You Smarter
Education crisis over. |
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HEALTH
/ MEDECINE
FDA
Approves
Cure for Common Cold
Will allow limited sales
in a variety of floral
scents. |
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| HIGH TECH |
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Attendance at World's Largest
Tech Trade Show Down 18% from Last Year
But calculation is made 18% faster. |
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| ANSWER
TO LAST WEEK'S PUZZLER: |
| Al Gore, by more than half a
million votes. |
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| HOW AMERICAN EMPIRE STACKS
UP WITH THE GREATS |
| Dates |
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Most
Colorful Characters |
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Memorable Quotes |
| Roman 49 BC - 395 AD |
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Julius Caesar, Caligula |
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"Veni, Vidi, Vici." |
| British 1588 - 1930 |
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Queen Victoria, Dr. Livingston |
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"You're a better man than I am,
Gunga Din." |
American 1945 -
? |
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John Rambo, George W. Bush |
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"We will rid the world of
evil-doers." |
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| © Copyright 2002 Ironic
Times |
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