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PAGE TWO - MARCH
11 - 17, 2002 |
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ANSWER TO LAST
WEEK'S PUZZLER: |
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47 meetings, all with the Vice
President in his office. |
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BUSINESS |
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Verizon Slashes 10,000 Jobs
James Earl Jones will assume more
responsibilities. |
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Microsoft: Can't Remove
Internet Explorer from Windows
Company not sure how it got there in the
first place. |
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PICTURE OF THE WEEK |
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Hindu Holymen Protest
McDonald's 99¢ Menu
Demand India use
its nuclear arsenal to end
slaughter of cows. |
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SPACE
NASA
Contacts Pioneer 10,
Launched 30 Years Ago
Probe responds
that all systems are
"groovy." |
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SCIENCE |
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NASA: Discovery of Martian Water
Holds Great Potential
Could be the next Zima. |
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New Findings: T. Rex Much
Slower Than Thought
Huge dinosaur was never on time. |
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Software Error Corrected:
Universe is Beige, Not Pale Green
Also, it tastes kind of like chicken, not
like creamed spinach. |
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IRONIC TIMES
SPECIAL REPORT |
Last week, the Database
of Nuclear Smuggling, Theft, and Orphan
Radiation Sources at Stanford University
made public a list of lost or stolen
radioactive material. Here is an excerpt: |
Item |
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Last
Seen |
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During |
2 lbs Uranium 238 |
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Hooters Restaurant,
Memphis, Tenn. |
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TGIF Wet T-shirt
Contest |
1 kg Plutonium |
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Islamabad Bed 'n
Breakfast Inn |
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Feta Cheese &
Fatwa Hour |
4 Spent Fuel Rods |
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3 Mile Island Moose
Club |
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Acme Flight School
Graduation Party |
.5 kg Uranium 235 |
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Tblisi Zoo,
Republic of Georgia |
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Ex-Nuclear
Scientist Discount Day |
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© Copyright 2002 Ironic
Times |
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