| THE
WAR |
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Congress
Shown Cluster Bomb and
Food Packet
Or is it food packet
and cluster bomb?. |
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New Tactics in Military
Campaign Revealed
Rob Schneider, Wayne
Newton will be sent
behind enemy lines to
entertain Taliban. |
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| ENVIRONMENT |
|
Whitman: EPA Will Enforce
Clinton Arsenic Standards
But strychnine, hemlock standards may be
relaxed. |
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| BUSINESS |
|
Playboy Lays Off
43% of Work Force
Hef down to just four
girlfriends. |
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 |
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| ENTERTAINMENT |
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Emmys Finally Given Out in
Subdued, Dignified Ceremony
Show had “just the right amount of
ego-inflated, self-serving blather,”
says producer. |
|
Geraldo Leaves CNBC for Fox
Hopes to raise level of journalism
there. |
|
MTV Lays Off 9 Percent
of Work Force
“Just the musicians,” explains
a spokesman. |
| |
| KIDZ' KORNER |
| How Kids Can Help
Fight Terrorism |
| 1) Start
waving an American flag. Is there
somebody not waving one? Put names in
secret notebook. |
| 2) Recite the Pledge of Allegiance. Note
if somebody doesn't join in. Add the name
to secret notebook. |
| 3) Sing "God Bless America."
See who's not singing along. Don't forget
their names! |
| 4) Did Mommy say we should stop the
bombing? Did Daddy say bad things about
the sanctions on Iraq? Write all of this
down in your notebook. |
| 5) Turn the notebook over to authorities. |
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©
Copyright 2001 Ironic Times |
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