SADDAM
ASSASSINATION
ATTEMPT GOES AWRY
Lone gunman in critical
condition. |
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| WORLD NEWS |
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President's European
Trip Improves Image Overseas
Now viewed as a “very likable threat
to world peace.” |
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California Becomes World's 5th Largest
Economy, Passing France
France becomes world's 5th narliest surfing
hangout, passing California. |
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| PEOPLE |
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Jenna Bush Finishes Alcohol
Awareness Class
Now extremely aware of alcohol. |
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Pope Hit by Meteorite
But he'll be fine, says his personal physician. |
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| U. S. NEWS |
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McVeigh Sentenced to Die
Again
Second death sentence is for final
message quoting awful poem,
"Invictus." |
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Supreme Court Rules Religious Clubs
Can Meet on Government Property
Scalia, Thomas, O'Connor, Rehnquist
and Kennedy can continue meeting. |
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Compromise on Patients' Bill
of Rights Offered by White House
Right to sue HMO replaced by right to
bear arms during medical exams. |
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Replacement Site for Vieques Announced
Navy to begin bombing East Harlem in 2003. |
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 REMINDER
Keep up with the
Joneses. |
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| ALSO IN THE NEWS . . . |
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U.S. Postal Service Updates
Familiar Motto
It now reads: "Neither snow, nor
rain, nor heat, nor gloom of night, nor
crazed gunman shooting in all directions
stays these couriers from the swift
completion of their appointed
rounds."
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