BUSH WELCOMES
JUNIOR CHEFS TO WHITE
HOUSE
Samples many recipes prepared by
5-year olds. |
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| WORLD NEWS |
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China Will Return U.S. Spy
Plane After Slight Delay
Wants to make sure ashtrays are emptied,
aisles vacuumed, magazines restocked. |
|
Northern Lights From Solar
Flares Delight Millions
Take edge off fact earth faces imminent
doom. |
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Bush Accidentally Accepts
Kyoto Accords
Thought he was getting two new Hondas. |
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Taliban
Destroying Computerized
Images
Deleting
every picture of Buddha
on the Internet. |
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| U. S. NEWS |
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Postal Service May End
Saturday Deliveries
Will use day for anger management
classes. |
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Feudal System To Replace Tax
Code
IRS closes, poor will pay rich directly. |
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Dept. of Education Missing
$450 Million
"Dog ate it," says
spokesperson. |
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Bush Tells Broccoli Farmers
To Destroy Crop
Cites threat of hoof-and-mouth disease. |
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REMINDER
For every loser in the
stock market like you
there is a winner not
like you. |
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| FRINGE |
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A fifty thousand year-old mummified
body of a male human, recently retrieved
from the frozen tundra of northern
Siberia, walked out of the Museum of
Natural History in New York last week,
and is still at large. |
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