Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO - MARCH 5 - 11, 2001
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ENTERTAINMENT
Many Grammy Winners Now Admit They Forgot to Wear Clothes to Event
Grabbed whatever they could to cover their bodies; no one seemed to notice.
CBS Proudly Claims Sweeps Victory
Network boasts it's the most-watched among male high school dropouts, 18-24.
Cartoon Star Re-Enters Re-Hab
Shaggy of “Scooby-Doo, Where Are You?” will be written out of some episodes.
Total Confusion at Metropolitan Opera
Casting call for "sopranos" attracts thousands of "mob types."
Lakers Exit NBA for Soap Opera Deal
But Shaq, Kobe at odds over top billing.
Threat of Writers Strike Forcing Hollywood to Turn to Other Species
Several shows written by apes in the works.
LAW
Legislative Branch of Government "Not Really Needed," Asserts Supreme Court
Executive, Judicial enough, says Rehnquist.
Napster Halts Downloads of
All Copyrighted Music

Only William Shatner recordings remain available.
 
FOOD
 
RELIGION
Pope Admits He Made "Big Mistake"
Named “too damn many” new Cardinals.
White House Faith-Based Charity Office Awards Grant to Snake Handlers
Pantheists, Fire Worshippers, devotees of Moon Goddess demand equal treatment.

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