Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – SEPTEMBER 7 - 13, 2020
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PUBLISHING
  Sales of Trump Tell-All Books Soaring
Readers can't get enough, writers can't tell enough.
 
POLITICS
Pence: “To Know President
Trump is to Know Someone
Whose Word is His Bond”

“When he says he could shoot someone in the middle of 5th Ave. and not lose any votes, he means it.”
 
MISCELLANEOUS
Average American Spends
Over $11,000 on Toilet
Paper in a Lifetime

Most will tell you it's worth every penny.
 
FACTOID
  Trump Has Tweeted an Average
Of 32 Times a Day in 2020

“More than any other president in the history of the planet,” he tweets.
FEATURE
QAnon is a conspiracy theory that claims there's a deep state run by Democrats who operate a child sex slave ring beneath a D.C. pizza parlor while someone named “Q” helps Donald Trump prevent them from taking over the world. What percentage of Republicans dismiss this conspiracy theory as false?
   A ) 99%  
   B ) 75%  
   C ) 50%  
   D ) 13%  
Hint: maybe they didn't hear the part about the pizza parlor.
 
CORRECTION
  Last week we erroneously identified the above map as “U.S. colleges with the most parties.” It should have read “U.S. colleges with the most coronavirus cases.” We regret the error, although the two maps are almost identical.

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