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Ironic Times

 NO. 980 “Expect the Ironic” JULY 15 - 21, 2019 

Jul 8
Jul 22
 
  REPORT: EPSTEIN CLAIMED HE INTRODUCED TRUMP
TO MELANIA

When she was 14.
 
WORLD NEWS
UK Ambassador Resigns After Calling Trump “Inept,” “Insecure,” “Incompetent” in Leaked Cables
In newly leaked cables, his replacement calls Trump “a very stable genius.”
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS ...
Uber Begins Rolling Out Uber Black, High-End Ridesharing
Gives rich ne'er-do-wells a chance to make some money from their dad's Mercedes.
U. S. NEWS
Pence Tours Crowded, Filthy,
Stench-Ridden Detention Facility

Pleased by what he sees.
Mueller's Televised Appearance in Congress Highly Anticipated
Lawmakers from both parties look forward to preening, bloviating and delivering long, self-serving testimonials before running out of time.
 
REMINDER
  Always insult and belittle those you don't agree with.
 
Pentagon May Ban Pizza,
Beer in Switch to Lean, High
Performance Diet

May also need to bring back the draft.
 
POLL
81% of Colorado Youth Say
They Don't Use Marijuana; 79%
Say They Believe Their Peers Do

Asked to explain the discrepancy, 97% don't understand the question.
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