| MEDIA |
 |
 NY Post Headline
Writer Given Immediate Pulitzer
By acclamation. |
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| PEOPLE |
|
 Supermodel Tyra
Banks Announces Modelland Theme Park
Features rides, performances, but no
food whatsoever. |
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Trump: “If I Had Not Been Elected
President of the United States, We
Would Right Now, in My Opinion, Be
in a Major War With North Korea”
“But thanks to me, we're great fiends with
North Korea and at war with NATO.” |
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| BUSINESS |
|
Goldman Executives' Pay May
Be Cut Over Scandal
Reversing corporate policy of
rewarding them with bonuses. |
|
Household Debt Hit Record $13.5
Trillion Last Quarter
Lenders told “check for $13.5 trillion is in the mail.” |
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| SCIENCE |
|
Study: Honeybees Can Learn to Carry
Out Exact Numerical Calculations
And they don't like the numbers they're seeing. |
| |
 Revealed: Recently
Discovered “Ancient” Stone
Circle in Scotland Actually Built in 1990s
Failed tourist attraction Druidland
lacked parking lot, bathrooms, gift shop. |
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| ENVIRONMENT |
|
 Carbon Emissions
Increased in 2018 Despite Coal Plant Closings
Jump traced to a couple of good ol' boys. |
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| RELIGION |
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Pope Francis Admits Priests, Bishops
Have Sexually Abused Nuns
Claims sexy black outfits worn by nuns
partially to blame. |
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