| TECHNOLOGY |
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Japan: Restaurant Opens
Featuring Robot Servers
No matter how obnoxious you are, they're
programmed not to spit in your food. |
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| MISCELLANEOUS |
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Sarah Sanders: God “Wanted Donald
Trump to Become President”
And He also wanted Vladimir Putin to
be president of Russia. |
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| NEW
PRODUCTS |
|
 The First Home
Gene-Editing Kit!
Want a new kid? Another dog? A two-headed
turtle? Now it's as easy as mac 'n' cheese,
with everything you need to create
God-knows-what in your very own laboratory.
$120, at Frank N. Stein and Kids 'R' Us. |
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| SPORTS |
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Trump: Wouldn't Want Son
To Play Football
Well, maybe Eric. |
|
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| Who said it: |
| “You're supposed to say things
are great. When he asks you, 'How are things?' you're not
supposed to complain.” |
| A ) | From orientation instructions
for Genghis Khan's harem. |
| B ) | Hermann Goring
regarding how to speak to You-Know-Who. |
| C ) | Author of Mar-a-Lago:
Inside the Gates of Power at Donald Trump's Presidential Palace. |
| Hint: for workers who are illegal
immigrants, there's a Spanish translation. |
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| RELIGION |
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Pope Francis Warns Against
“Inflated Expectations” for Global
Church Summit on Child Sex Abuse
Including expectation that Catholic Church would
come out clearly against it. |
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| ODDS 'N' ENDS |
|
 Offensive College
Yearbook Photo Puts Pressure on
Virginia's Democratic Governor to
Resign
Or at least switch parties. |
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