| PEOPLE |
 |
 Advocates for
Michael Milken Pardon Include Jared Kushner,
Rudolph Giuliani
Among others hoping for same. |
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| BUSINESS |
|
Forbes: Amazon's Bezos Now
Worth $142 Billion
He can buy Warren Buffet and Bill Gates and
still have enough left over for a couple of
Waltons. |
|
 Last Original
Member GE Dropped From Dow Jones Industrial
Average
Company will return to selling lightbulbs door-to-door. |
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| TECHNOLOGY |
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IBM Unveils System That
Debates Humans
Think Alexa with an attitude. |
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| SCIENCE |
|
Massive Gravitational Experiment
Confirms Einstein's General Theory
of Relativity
But it turns out he was wrong about God not
playing dice. |
|
 Archeologists Digging
up Artifacts at Site of Woodstock
So far they've found Jimi Hendrix's guitar pick,
Wavy Gravy's roach clip. |
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| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
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NIH Shuts Down Study of
Drinking Due to Improper
Influence From Makers of
Alcoholic Beverages
They were paying for the three-martini lunches. |
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| ENVIRONMENT |
|
Prediction: 80,000 Deaths in
Next Decade From Trump
Environmental Policies
Many from disbelief. |
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