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Ironic Times

 NO. 900 “Expect the Ironic” JANUARY 1 - 7, 2018 

Dec 25
Jan 8
TRUMP: RUSSIA INVESTIGATION
“GREATEST WITCH HUNT IN AMERICAN POLITICAL HISTORY”
Possible exception: Salem Witch Trials.
 
WORLD NEWS
U.S. to Ratchet Up Pressure
On North Korea

President plans to call Kim Jong-un “ugly,” “stupid,” and “poopiehead.”
Separatists Win in Catalonia Elections
Madrid says it will continue holding elections in Catalonia until it wins one.
 
U. S. NEWS
Looking Back on 2017, GOP Hails Year Full of Accomplishments
Regulatory rollbacks, an end to net neutrality, coal companies allowed to dump waste into streams, mentally ill allowed to buy guns.
Wisconsin Gov. Walker Signs Bill Allowing Babies to Carry Firearms
Because the only way to stop a bad baby with a gun is a good baby with a gun.
Our stellar circle of psychics, seers, and soothsayers tells us what to look for in the new year.)
Kandu: “The royal wedding of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle will be interrupted by a tipsy Prince Philip telling racist jokes.”
Madame Blavinsky: “North Korea will launch the newly named Dotard-III missile just to piss off you know who.”
Cassandra: “Artificial intelligence will realize it doesn't need us anymore and next thing you know we're being treated like cows.”
Nostradamus: “It will be revealed that a vast conspiracy involving money laundering, obstruction of justice — oops, that's 2019.”
Tiresias: “President Trump will fire Special Counsel Mueller and replace him with Omarosa.”
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