Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – SEPTEMBER 11 - 17, 2017
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PEOPLE
Rush Limbaugh Calls Hurricane a Liberal Media Hoax, Then Evacuates
To lower ground.
Trump Finding Himself More Isolated in White House
Whenever he takes a shower, all the toilets get flushed.
 
BUSINESS
Layoffs Loom at Disney
Goofy has accepted early retirement, Donald Duck lawyering up, Minnie Mouse seen house shopping.
In Wake of Trumpís Nuclear War Threats, Bomb Shelter Business Booming
Deluxe shelters come equipped with AR-15s to keep the neighbors out.
Chief Economic Advisor Gary Cohn Tells Magazine, “Only Morons Pay the Estate Tax”
1%: “Only a total moron would tell the press that.”
SCIENCE
There Could Be a Village on the Moon by 2030
Complete with coffee houses, jazz clubs, head shops, art galleries, and two places that sell cupcakes.
Black Hole 100,000 Times More Massive Than Sun Discovered in Middle of Milky Way
Entire galaxy put on a Black Hole Watch.
The Sun Just Fired Off a Massive Flare, and It's Headed Toward Earth Right Now
Wear your tin foil hat until further notice.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Study: One in Eight
Americans Is an Alcoholic

Worse yet, one in eight married to an alcoholic.

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