Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE –AUG 28 - SEP 03, 2017
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TECHNOLOGY
Japan: Company Leasing Robot Buddhist Priests to Perform Funerals
Available soon in Catholic, Jewish, Muslim, and most Protestant denominations.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
Six Flags Amusement Park
Removes Confederate Flag

Will now be known as Five Flags.
Boy Scouts Consider Adding Girls
And they won't be Girl Scouts.
 
POLL
1 in 10 Americans Harbor Some White Supremacist Views
But they keep it to themselves and their 18,000 followers on Facebook.
 
LEISURE
Chuck E. Cheese's Phases Out Animatronic Band, Hoping to Attract More Parents
Coming soon: animatronic strippers.
FEATURE
Opening night tickets to “Hamilton” in Los Angeles are selling for $10,000 on StubHub, proving once again that:
A )There’s a sucker born every minute.
B )“Hamilton” is one of the greatest plays in modern history.
C )We have a serious problem with income inequality in this country.
Hint: Ferrari’s “entry-level” Portofino is selling for $203,000.
 
LAW
White House: All New Immigrants Must Speak English
At least as well as Melania.
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
Macy's Announces Change in Thanksgiving Parade
The Sheriff Joe Arpaio balloon has been dropped.

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