| ENTERTAINMENT |
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Latest Kanye West Video Features
Mostly Naked Celebrity Lookalikes
Only West, his wife Kim, and Donald Trump (third
from left) are real. |
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| PEOPLE |
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Obama Says He Might Become a
Silicon Valley Venture Capitalist
“I always wanted to be a rich, obnoxious,
self-centered putz,” he says. |
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| BUSINESS |
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Volkswagen Told it Must Buy Back
Every Diesel Car Sold, Pay $15 Billion
And go back in time, kill baby Hitler. |
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 Google Leases
Hangar That Once Housed Howard Hughes's Spruce
Goose
Rumored developing world's largest self-flying plane. |
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| SCIENCE |
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Alien Contact Still 1,500 Years
Away, Cornell Researchers Say
Surrender, submission, eventual slaughter
by aliens at least 1,600 years away. |
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Discovery of Helium Field in
Tanzania Could Replenish
Dwindling Supply of Rare Gas
In recent years, amount available dropped
due to spate of birthday parties. |
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 Approaching Juno
Spacecraft Captures Light Show, Strange Sounds
Coming From Jupiter
And a star-child inside a bubble (not shown) headed
away from planet. |
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Study: Plants Have a Memory, Make
Sophisticated Decisions, Judge
Risks Better Than Us
And more pleasant to be around. |
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| ENVIRONMENT |
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Rate of Ozone Depletion Slows Due to
Decrease in Use of Harmful Chemicals
Problem should be solved by the time
global warming destroys the planet. |
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