| |
 |
| |
OBAMA SNAPS SELFIE AT
WHITE HOUSE
Wants proof to show his poker buddies years
from now when one of them doesn't believe
he was ever president. |
| |
| WORLD NEWS |
 |
 North Korean State
Media Releases High Resolution
Un-Retouched Headshots of Kim, Other
Top Party Officials
In response to “relentless demand”
from North Korea's numerous fan magazines. |
|
|
Saudi Arabia Struggles to Move
Away From Oil-Dependent Economy
Only other export: terrorism. |
| |
| ALSO IN THE NEWS ... |
|
 ISIS
Releases App for Kids
Like Candy Crush, but crueler. |
|
|
| U. S. NEWS |
|
Trump Denies Posing as Own
Spokesman in 90's Phone
Calls to Reporters
“Total lies! Mr. Trump is fantastic!”
current spokesman shouts in phone call
from unlisted number in Florida. |
|
TSA Collected Over $760,000
In Unclaimed Cash Left at
Airports Last Year
And over 284,000 belts. |
| |
| REMINDER |
| |
History is written by the winners with a book deal. |
|
|
|
| |
|
Cambridge, Mass: 150 Scientists
Meet in Secret About Creating a
Synthetic Human Genome
And another one for its bride. |
|
Lawmakers Trying to Determine
How Much Marijuana Too Much for Drivers
One proposal: offer them Oreos, if they eat
more than twenty, book 'em. |
| |
| POLITICS |
|
 If Trump Wins,
Christie Will Head Trump's Transition Team
If he loses, Christie will head team of
doormen at Trump Tower. |
|
|
