| TECHNOLOGY |
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 Tesla's Prototype Robot Charger
Will Charge Your Car Automatically
Make sure it's happy, feels secure, doesn't harbor resentments. |
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Silicon Valley: Many Working
on Software That Detects Sarcasm
Oh sure, like that's going to work. |
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 Google's Humanoid
Project Showing Results
It's already scaring the bejeezus out of people |
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| MISCELLANEOUS |
|
Old Farmer's Almanac Predicts
Long, Cold Winter
Suggests burning old copies of
Old Farmer's Almanac. |
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 “Muslim-Free”
Gun Shop Teams With George Zimmerman
to Sell Confederate Flag Prints
A one-stop shop for all your racist needs. |
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| NEW PRODUCTS |
|
 This High
Tech Dog Collar Does Everything!
A Kickstarter campaign trying to launch this
thing claims it will monitor Sparky's pulse,
count his steps, track his location and perform
thousands of other functions while you watch
it all on your smartphone, in your car, desperately
searching for him, and that expensive collar.
$400, at Stupid Pet Supplies. |
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 A Solid Gold 2-Wheel Self-Balancing
Personal Scooter!
Look at it as insurance, with your life
savings tied up in something you can
step on and ride to work, or break a hip,
in which case it'll pay for the operation and
physical therapy. $390,000, at Fort Knox
Novelties. |
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| ODDS 'N' ENDS |
|
 New York: Roving Topless Women
Causing Controversy in Times Square
Critics complain there “aren't enough” of them. |
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