Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – APR 27 - MAY 3, 2015
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PEOPLE
Petraeus Fined $100,000 for Leaking Secrets to Former Lover
Will come out of $1 million he’ll get for movie rights.
 
MEDIA
Fox News: Minority Communities Need to be More Sensitive to the Police
They have feelings, too.
 
BUSINESS
Comcast Drops Bid for
Time Warner Cable

Deal broke down when negotiators for each side kept getting put on hold.
Diet Pepsi to Stop Using
Aspartame

Will use “some other chemical,” says spokesman.
Kraft Removes All Artificial Colors, Preservatives From Its Mac & Cheese
Leaving nothing.
SCIENCE
Reproductions of 25,000-Year-Old Cave Drawings Go on Display in France
25,000-year-old drawings were themselves reproductions of 50,000-year-old drawings.
Astronomers Baffled by Giant Unexplained Hole in Space
And giant eye peering through it.
Physicists Closer to Understanding Dark Matter
Public further from understanding physicists.
Lifelike Humanoid Can React to Facial Expressions, Make Conversation, Eye Contact
And won't spend all its time staring at its damn smartphone.

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