Ironic Times

page one
PAGE THREE – JANUARY 19 - 25, 2015
page two

TECHNOLOGY
New Robot Mimics Your Handwriting
It's the perfect gadget for the identity thief who has everything.
Google to Stop Selling Google Glass
If you want to look like a dork and be vilified by all you meet, you better hurry.
 
SPORTS
Milwaukee Brewers Offer $1000 Ticket for Any One Game, at Any Time, Forever
Buyer can wait until team makes playoffs, or when hell freezes over, whichever comes first.
 
NEW PRODUCTS
A Lamborghini Cellphone With a $6000 Price Tag
Until they make one out of a Fabergé egg, this will have to remain the height of decadence, certain to impress everyone who steals it. Price as stated, at all 1% Only stores.
FEATURE
What is the Promoting Job Growth and Reducing Small Business Burdens Act?
A )Bill to promote job growth
B )Bill to reduce small business burdens
C )Bill to allow Wall Street cowboys to trade wildly in the same derivatives that caused the Great Recession.
Hint: everything old is newspeak again.
 
RELIGION
Pope Says He'd Punch Anyone Who Insulted His Mother
As Jesus often had to do.
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
Guy With Romney Tattoo Not Supporting Him This Time
Not since he put Chris Christie's face on his ass (not shown).

FRONT PAGE
PAGE TWO
PAGE THREE
ARCHIVE
CONTACT
STORE
 ©  Copyright 2015 Ironic Times