| MEDIA |
 |
 Netropolitan,
Social Network for Wealthy, Debuts
If you ask how much it costs, you can't join. |
|
| |
| BUSINESS |
 |
China Fines GlaxoSmithKline
$492 Million in Bribery Case
Bribes not big enough. |
|
J. Crew Offers New Size for
Women With 23-Inch Waists
And no interest in breathing. |
|
Angry London Mom Returns Barbie
That Says “What the Fuck”
Everywhere else, Potty Mouth Barbie selling
like hotcakes. |
|
 People Begin
Forming Lines for Apple's Next Product
“Whatever it is,” says one. |
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| SCIENCE |
|
 Study Shows
Liberals, Conservatives, Smell Different, Each
Prefers Same-Smelling Partner for Sex, Romance
Lone exception: James Carville, Mary Matalin. |
|
|
Stephen Hawking Says Higgs-Boson
Particle Could Cause Space-Time to
Collapse
Other than that, no cause for alarm. |
|
 DARPA Testing Plane With Star
Wars-Like Laser Cannon
Cannon works great acccording to
observers, but “sound effects suck.” |
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| ENVIRONMENT |
|
August the Hottest Month
On Record
April still the cruelest month. |
|
