| TECHNOLOGY |
 |
 Super-Secure
Encrypted Cellphone Goes On Sale
Guaranteed impenetrable to hackers, NSA, FBI,
CIA, KGB, and anyone over 16. |
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Futurist: By 2029, Robots Will Be
Smarter Than Humans
Unless humans, by 2028, unplug them. |
|
 App Automatically
Sends Texts to Your
Girlfriend to Make Her Think You're
Thinking of Her
And when she receives one every hour
on the hour saying “I'm thinking of you,”
she'll know you care. |
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| RELIGION |
|
Plurality of 18 to 30-Year-Olds Now
Identify With No Religion
But plan on deathbed conversions. |
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| SPORTS |
|
Baseball Bans Home Plate Collisions,
Debuts Protective Caps for Pitchers
Official game ball now made by Nerf. |
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| FEATURE |
 |
| What is this? |
| 10. |
Louisiana |
5. |
Ohio |
| 9. |
Oklahoma |
4. |
Alabama |
| 8. |
Missouri |
3. |
Mississippi |
| 7. |
Tennessee |
2. |
Kentucky |
| 6. |
Arkansas |
1. |
West Virginia |
|
| A ) | The most
red states in the USA. |
| B ) | The places
in the country recording the most number of UFO sightings. |
| C ) | The 10
most miserable states, according to
the Gallup Poll of Well-Being, listed last to first. |
| Hint: all three could be correct. |
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| ODDS 'N' ENDS |
|
 Ukraine: Abandoned Yanukovych
Estate Opened to Public
Used same decorator as Saddam, Qaddafi. |
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