Ironic Times

page one
PAGE TWO – JUNE 3 - 9, 2013
page three

PEOPLE
Donald Trump Reportedly Spends $1 Million Researching Possible 2016 Presidential Run
Wants to know how many eligible voters have never heard of him.
 
BUSINESS
New Company Plans Starbucks-
Style Pot Stores

Complete with places for stoners to sit all day and stare at their smartphones.
Abercrombie & Fitch’s 1st Quarter Loss Bigger Than Expected
Apparently cool kids, only customers courted by company, way too cool to shop at Abercrombie & Fitch.
Kellogg's Settles False Advertising Suit for Frosted Mini-Wheats
Will change claim “Frosted Mini-Wheats prevent cancer, heart disease and make you twice as smart” to “Frosted Mini-Wheats won't kill you.”
SCIENCE
Expert Recommends Launching Nuclear Warheads to Destroy Dangerous Asteroids
Great way to get rid of asteroids and warheads.
Physicists Say “Warp Drive” Travel at Speeds Faster Than Light Possible
But you'll still have to get to airport two hours ahead of time.
 
Blogger Spots Lizard in Mars Photo
Move along folks, nothing happening here.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Survey: U.S. #6 in Happiness
But #2 in Drowning Our Sorrows.
Pharmacies Oppose California
Bill to Make Print on Prescription Drug Labels Bigger

Can't read which pill you're supposed to take, Grandpa? Buy a magnifying glass!

FRONT PAGE
PAGE TWO
PAGE THREE
ARCHIVE
CONTACT
STORE
 ©  Copyright 2013 Ironic Times