| PEOPLE |
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 New Book About
Obama Chronicles His Extensive Pot Smoking as
a Youth
Unlike Clinton, he never exhaled. |
|
|
 Unabomber Updates
His Status in Harvard Alumni Magazine
From Wild and Crazy Guy to Crazy Guy. |
|
|
 Missouri Installs
Security Camera Trained on Rush Limbaugh
Bust in State Capitol
To prevent Limbaugh from stealing it. |
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|
Pope's Butler Charged With Leaking
Secret Documents
After lengthy investigation by Miss Marple. |
| |
| ENTERTAINMENT |
|
Chinese Firm Buys AMC
Theater chain will feature high
quality pirated first-run films. |
|
| POLLING |
|
Pollsters More Likely to Reach Republicans
on Land Lines, Democrats on Cellphones
Independents on foot, after a lengthy chase. |
| |
| SCIENCE |
|
Head of SETI Steps Down
Blames lack of sleep, stiff neck. |
| |
 Launch of
Private Spaceship Signals New Era
Of private intercontinental ballistic missiles. |
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| |
| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
|
Catholic Groups Challenge Federal
Health Insurance Coverage for Contraceptives
Demand to know why a good Catholic
girl would ever need them. |
|
Cheating Guys More Likely
To Die of Heart Attack
Strictly monogamous guys more likely
to die of boredom. |
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