| PEOPLE |
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 Conservative
Blog Reveals Proof Obama Born in Kenya
Exposes fifty-year-old conspiracy involving millions
of people on three continents who have kept silent
even until this day. |
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Genocide Trial of Serbian Commander
Ratko Mladic, Who Slaughtered Thousands, Hits
Procedural Snag
After he slaughters judge, lawyers, jury. |
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| BUSINESS |
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Romney : “The $2 Billion JPMorgan Lost,
Somebody Else Gained”
Same goes for those who've lost
jobs, homes, life savings. |
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Facebook IPO Third Largest in History
Company, whose business model is to waste
everyone's time, now worth $104 billion. |
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 Dish Network's
New Auto Hop Feature Infuriates Broadcasters
Allows viewers to skip anything inane. |
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| SCIENCE |
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New Theory: Geo-Engineering
Could Fix Climate
Fits comfortably with theory we don't have to take
any action on climate change now since we'll come
up with a technical solution down the road, like
geo-engineering. |
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 Newly
Discovered Mayan Calendar
Projects 4,000 Years Beyond 21st Century
So if your escape rocket isn’t ready by
December, you can relax. |
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| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
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Study: Coffee Drinkers Live Longer
And faster. |
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Bad News: Good Cholesterol Not So
Good, Says Latest Study
Good news: bad news usually turns out to be
good news in next study. |
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Study: 96% of Chain Restaurant Entrees
Exceed USDA Limits for Calories, Sodium, Fat
And are overpriced. |
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