| PEOPLE |
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 Berlusconi
Wins 53rd Confidence Vote
After hosting his 53rd bunga bunga party. |
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| ENTERTAINMENT |
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Peter Pan Prequel Heads to Broadway
Working title: “Young Captain Hook.” |
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| BUSINESS |
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CEO Pay Rose 28% Last Year
But lagged behind caviar which rose 30%. |
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Citigroup Agrees to Pay $285 Million to
Settle $1 Billion Fraud Suit
Also agrees to write “I will not trick
people into giving me money to invest in
worthless derivatives and then bet against
them” 285 million times. |
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 Scale Model
Lamborghini to Be Auctioned for $4.7 Million
Seller will throw in a real Lamborghini if bidding is slow. |
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| SCIENCE |
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Report: Comet That Just Missed
Earth in 1883 Would Have
Destroyed All Life on Planet
Had it hit there would have been no premiere of
Gilbert and Sullivan's Ida, or the election of Grover
Cleveland, or the completion of the Washington
Monument, or anything else for that matter. |
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Group of Scientists Once
Skeptical of Global Warming
Now Agree It's Happening
Only holdouts are running for president. |
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| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
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Report: No Cancer Danger From Cellphones
Just the slow erosion of our sanity. |
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Doctors Group Urges No TV for Children
Under Two Years Old
Except in their waiting rooms. |
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Study: 38% of Europeans Mentally Ill
But happy they don't have to pay for treatment. |
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| TECHNOLOGY |
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Gallup Poll: Most Facebook Users Not
Concerned About Privacy
Feel “the less privacy, the better.” |
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