Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – MARCH 8 - 14, 2010
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MISCELLANEOUS
Researchers Find Men Derive Drug-Like High From Looking at Curvy Women
Suggest: “Warning: The Surgeon General has determined that Beyoncé may be hazardous to your health.”
Postal Service Wants to End
Saturday Deliveries

Mail normally lost on Saturday would be lost on Monday.
Study: Happiness is Experiences,
Not Stuff

Typically, the experience of having lots of stuff.
 
EDUCATION
Utah Considers Dropping 12th Grade
Money saved would go to fund programs for directionless youths who didn't finish high school.
 
ENVIRONMENT
EPA Can't Enforce Clean Water Act Due to Vague Supreme Court Decision
It didn't specify which planet.
TRENDS
Anti-Government Groups
Tripled Last Year

With the addition of Fox News and the Republican Party.
Number of Births Rise in U.S.
Experts cite explosion of abstinence-only programs.
 
SPORTS
South Korea Shortens Baseball By Putting 12 Second Limit on Pitches
But no limit on arguing with the ump.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS . . .
Freeze Nearly Wipes Out Tomato Crop
Participants in this year's “Tomatina” have been asked to throw water balloons filled with red paint.
 
CORRECTION
 
In our “Five Years Ago Today” feature, we mistakenly ran the story, “Army Awards Lucrative Contract in Iraq to KBR.” In fact, the headline was taken from the news of March 3, 2010, not March 3, 2005. We regret any confusion caused by the error.

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