| PEOPLE |
 |
 Obama
Has “Secret Vault” in
New York Under Interpol's Control
According to Glenn Beck, who's
sending Chuck Norris to wrest it
from Interpol and bring it back
to open on his show, undoubtedly
revealing: Obama's Kenyan birth
certificate, the Communist
Manifesto and a detailed diagram
of Glenn Beck's house. |
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| |
| MEDIA |
|
Sarah Palin Joins Fox News
Where she provides needed
gravitas. |
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| BUSINESS |
|
Domino's Debuts New Crust By
Slamming Old Crust in Unusual Ads
Calls longtime Domino's customers
“morons” who “wouldn't
know good pizza if it hit them.” |
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| PICTURE OF THE
WEEK |
|
 Invisible
Men Gather for Annual Meeting
Despite bad weather. |
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| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
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Watching TV Shortens Lifespan
According to 12-part PBS series. |
|
Experts: Obesity Leveling Off
Number of Americans who can't see their
feet remains unchanged. |
|
U.S. Alleges Kickbacks
For Drug Which Increased
Death Risk for Elderly
Still, ask your doctor if Resperdal is
right for you. |
| |
 Bigger
Butt Improves Health, Say
Scientists
On “Oprah.” |
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| |
|
Study Reveals Ginkgo Biloba
Does Not Aid Memory
Except for remembering how much you spent
on Gingko biloba. |
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Tylenol, Motrin, Rolaids
Recall Follows Reports of Nausea,
Vomiting, Diarrhea
If symptoms persist, public advised to
take Tylenol, Motrin, Rolaids. |
|
Study: Telling Boss What You
Think of Them Can Be Good for Your Health
You didn't need that job anyway. |
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