| PEOPLE |
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Chavez Tells Venezuelans to
Stop Singing in Shower
“Or else.” |
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| CONSUMER NEWS |
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Disney Offers Refunds for
Baby Einstein, Baby Bach, Baby Mozart
Videos
Can be exchanged for Baby Eisner videos. |
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| SPORTS |
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New Yankee Stadium Already
Showing Cracks
Steinbrenners ask city for $1 billion to
fix it. |
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NFL Grilled by Lawmakers About
Head Injuries
Why is it that two huge men running at
each other at full speed and then
smashing their heads together is so much
fun to watch? they ask, respectfully. |
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Charles
Barkley Says He Wants to
Be a GM
Or a senator. |
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| FEATURE |
HEALTH
REFORM:
Many Plans Before Congress |
| Here's a
brief explanation of
each: |
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Public
Option: If you
don't have insurance, you
can get it. |
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Private
Option: If you
have insurance, you can
stop someone else from
getting it. |
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Opt
Out: State
chooses to let some of
its residents die
painful, gruesome deaths. |
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Opt
In: State
chooses to rethink its
stance and opt back in. |
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Musical
Chairs: Current
system. |
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| TRAVEL |
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Cruise Line to Retrace Voyage
of Titanic on 100th Anniversary
On April 8, 2012, HM Balmoral will leave
Southampton carrying over two thousand
print journalists. |
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| FACTOID |
|
American Kids Drop Out of
School at Rate of One Every 26 Seconds
There goes one now. |
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