 BIN LADEN
RETURNS TO AIRWAVES
First time since end of
writers strike. |
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| WORLD NEWS |
 |
Iraq National Unity
Conference Holds Promise of
Reconciliation
Both major Sunni, Shiite political blocks
boycott event. |
|
Iraq War Costs $5000 Per Second
Or about $25,000 since you began reading this. |
| |
| 21ST CENTURY UPDATE |
|
U.S. Destroys Garden of Eden
China destroys Shangri-la. |
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| ALSO IN THE NEWS . . . |
|
 Corn Flake
Shaped Like Illinois
Sells on eBay for $1350
Buyer hopes to purchase
hundreds more, add milk
and fruit. |
|
|
| U. S. NEWS |
|
Bush Assures Worried Nation
He’s
“On Top of the Situation”
Points out his adept handling of previous
crises. |
|
White House: Hard Drives
Containing Subpoenaed Emails Destroyed
Part of administration's War on Clutter. |
| |
| REMINDER |
| |
Properly
prepared, insects are
delicious and an
excellent source of
protein. |
|
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| |
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Audit: FBI Has Outdated,
Inaccurate Information About Terror
Suspects
But up-to-date, highly accurate data on
protesters. |
|
Everybody in New York Admits
to
Extramarital Affairs
All appear with spouses in painful news
conferences. |
| |
| POLITICS |
|
McCain: Fellow Arizonans
Would Call For Vigorous Response to
Cross-Border Rocket Attacks
But rules out preemptive invasion of
Mexico. |
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