| PEOPL.E |
 |
 Brazilian
Supermodel Gisele
Bundchen No Longer
Accepting Payment in
Dollars
Already stuck with
several million in
worthless currency. |
|
| BUSINESS |
|
Fed Chairman Sees Period
Of Slow Growth
Followed by sudden, catastrophic
collapse. |
| |
| PUBLISHING |
|
 Conservative
Authors of Smear Books Sue Their
Conservative Publisher
Claim they're being cheated out
of ill-gotten gains. |
|
|
 Newspapers
Cut Costs, Lay Off
Workers
Reduce size (left). |
|
|
| SCIENCE |
|
Egypt Discovers World's Oldest Footprint
But Hollywood still claims world's oldest handprint. |
| |
 King
Tut's Face Unveiled to
Public
Public demands face
covered up again. |
|
|
| |
| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
|
Study: People Who Eat When
Lonely or Blue Have Most
Trouble Dieting
Tend to eat until they're fat and jolly. |
|
Report: Teens Who Smoke
Marijuana
More Athletic, Social
Than teens who shoot heroin. |
|
High Carb Diet Helps You
Think Faster
Specifically, “What the hell am I doing
eating all these carbs?” |
|
